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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29614794">To Love and Be Loved</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_13th_battalion/pseuds/the_13th_battalion'>the_13th_battalion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson &amp; Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hugs, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Suicidal Thoughts, this is really soft idk, very briefly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:08:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29614794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_13th_battalion/pseuds/the_13th_battalion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the midst of a chase, Obi-Wan lets some of his deepest, darkest thoughts slip. Qui-Gon is determined to make things right.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Qui-Gon Jinn &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Love and Be Loved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Instead of doing literally anything I'm supposed to be doing, I spent two and a half hours working on this. Idk my friend mentioned Jedi Apprentice, I got all feels-y, and...here we are!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Padawan, stop!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan didn't spare Qui-Gon a glance. He stood at the edge of the roof, his breaths ragged from the distance he had run. He watched his target grow smaller on the horizon. The man's speeder moved with more efficiency than Obi-Wan had anticipated.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He eyed the next roof. The gap between the two buildings loomed before him.</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He took a deep breath. He bent his knees and shifted one foot back. </span> <em> <span class="s2">I can make it.</span> </em></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"STOP!" Qui-Gon commanded, "It's over. We lost him." His voice was much closer now, accentuated by his own exhausted breaths.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan grit his teeth. He shivered as a gust of wind bit through his tunic. For a moment, he regretted discarding his robe. "I can make it!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No! It's too far!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If you jump, you will fall! It's not worth it! We'll find another way."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I will <em>not</em> fail, Master!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qui-Gon sighed. "You won't be failing, Obi-Wan. Come away from the edge."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No!" Obi-Wan clenched his hands into fists. As he prepared to jump, a tug in the Force yanked him backwards. When he regained his footing, he whirled around. "Let me go!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"NO, Padawan!" Qui-Gon lowered his hand and walked closer. "Why does it always come to this? Why do you insist on throwing yourself into danger at every turn? It's reckless and, quite frankly, idiotic!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan's cheeks burned. "You're always so eager to criticize me, aren't you?"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Qui-Gon frowned. "That's not true."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're only proving my point! Every time I try to do what I feel is right, every time I make a decision to act instead of wait, you tell me I'm wrong!"</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Obi-Wan-"</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">"You never wanted me to succeed! You never wanted me at all!" A bitter taste filled Obi-Wan's mouth. "What do </span> <span class="s2">you </span> <span class="s1">care if I want to throw myself off a roof? At least you'd finally be rid of me. Isn't that what you want? To be free of your burden?"</span></p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He spat the last word out like a curse. He stared at Qui-Gon, challenging him. He waited for him to speak, waited for him to tell him he's </span> <em> <span class="s2">right</span> </em> <span class="s1"> for once, to walk away and let Obi-Wan go.</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead, Qui-Gon shook his head. He closed the distance between them and bent on one knee. His eyes never left Obi-Wan's, even as they flooded with tears. "Oh, Obi-Wan. My dear Padawan... You are my sun, my light, my hope. You bring me joy in my deepest despair. You find me when I am lost and show me peace when I cannot rest. For you, I would move mountains, tame seas, traverse the most hellish landscapes, throw myself upon the cruelest blade, plunge into the coldest darkness."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He paused and reached up to touch the side of Obi-Wan's face. His fingers trembled as his thumb brushed across his cheek. "My radiant sun, my Padawan, you have never been a burden. You make me proud every day. You are my world, my whole universe, and I am so sorry if I made you feel like anything less."</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Obi-Wan's knees buckled. He fell forward and crashed into Qui-Gon's arms. Qui-Gon gathered him up and held him to his chest. His hand cradled the back of Obi-Wan's head. Before he could stop them, sobs wracked Obi-Wan's already shaking body. He braced himself for scorn, for some sort of contempt, but Qui-Gon only tightened his hold and began to hum a soothing tune in his ear.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As their bond thrummed with peace, so too did Obi-Wan's heart. He grasped Qui-Gon's robes with both hands and let the rumbling of his master's voice drown out his fear and doubt.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He breathed, content to love and be loved.</span>
</p>
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